I confess as a confession, this time I did not plan any jokes. I just wanted to catch fish. Two of my acquaintances were going by car to Kashary, therefore, and I decided to take the opportunity and bring home fresh fish. We reached the place without incident, but we could not do without adventures on the lake.

It all started as usual. We arrived at the largest of the lakes - Belenkoye, rented a house at one of the bases, took boats from the director of the base and went fishing. However, the good morning mood was spoiled for us by the fishermen, who were standing in six boats at our favorite place.

Those who fished in the spring on large lakes know that the fish in the morning tries to stay close to the reeds, where the sun warms the shallow water well. We knew this, and our competitors were also well aware. The reeds from the side of the lake were simply stuffed with fishing boats. My comrades were about to take up the oars and look for other places, when suddenly an idea occurred to me. I offered to lure competitors out of the reeds.

And it’s good in the reeds now, ”said one of my comrades,“ it’s warm and there’s no wind.
- Never mind, be patient a little longer, I hope that soon we will change places with them, - I promised and began to carry out my insidious plan.

Hooking the hook over the side of the boat, I pulled the rod up so that it arched in an arc.

There is!!! I exclaimed frantically. - Vasily, there is !!!

My colleagues also started shouting and waving their arms. The boat rocked dangerously.

Vasily grabbed the grab and dipped it into the water. After 10-15 seconds, he threw a catch into the boat, grabbed the oar and hit the water with it several times. After this comedy, all three of us leaned overboard, pretending to pull something huge into the boat. As soon as the imaginary shark found itself inside our ark, we began to congratulate each other and happily pat on the shoulders.

Less than five minutes later, all six boats sailed away from the reeds and headed straight for us. One boat turned out to be with a motor, so it arrived earlier than the others.

Hi guys, - the owner of the motorboat greeted us, - what have you caught?
“Nothing,” I replied, “it doesn’t bite at all.
- But what are you telling me, I saw how the three of you pulled the fish into the boat.
- What kind of fish? - I feigned surprise. - This is my hook caught on the side of the boat. Detached.

Despite the fact that I told the sincere truth, the fisherman from the motorboat did not believe me. He looked into our boat and saw something covered with a large raincoat.

What do you have? - he asked. - Catfish? Have you caught a fried frog? And what tee?
- But these are our backpacks. Covered so as not to accidentally get wet.

This time I wasn’t lying either, but who needs this truth? The man was offended, swam away from us a few meters and began to throw the tackle. Another 20 minutes passed, and we were tightly encircled by those wishing to catch big fish.

What's in there? - they asked the guy on the motor boat.
- Catfish, - he answered confidently, - about thirty kilograms. They took a fried frog.
- And does it take catfish for the top? - they asked him again.
- Takes. He eats catfish all.

We did not interfere with the fisherman brothers from catching catfish and quietly sailed to their place in the reeds. Despite the fact that we finally took our favorite spot, the fishing was not going well. For three we caught two small crucians and 12 more or less decent perches. The peck was disgusting, and the weather did not add optimism. It started to rain and we decided to paddle to the shore.

I won’t come home without fish, ”Vasily said, getting into the car, who did not manage to catch a single fish, of course, except for the imaginary catfish,“ my wife will certainly say that I dragged along my mistresses for two days. We will come to the city, buy live carp at the bazaar, and say that I caught it.

We stopped at that. Arriving in the city, we bought carp at the market and were about to go home, when suddenly one crazy idea came to my mind again.

Andrey, - I began to ask, take me a little more around the city, - okay? Very necessary. I'll just buy bananas now.

On the way home, we remembered our adventure on the lake and were surprised that we could so easily deceive the fishermen-competitors. “And if fishermen are such gullible people, why don't we spoil them a little more?” I thought.

There are several small lakes in Valuyki, where fish are also caught. Certainly, big fish there is not, but the main thing is not the catch, but the fishing process itself. Consequently, there are always enough men who rest on the shores of these local reservoirs with a fishing rod in their hands. It was they who were supposed to become a victim of my next insidious plan.

I brought my friends to the shore of one of these lakes and made them abandon their fishing rods. Then I took the purchased carp from the indignant Vasily, hooked it on a hook and, unnoticed by other fishermen, launched it into the water. After sitting for a few minutes more, I began to pull my fish out of the water with joyful exclamations. A two-kilogram handsome carp caught in a city pond produced the same effect as the "catfish" on Belenkoye. The fishermen dropped their fishing rods and came to me to examine the prey.

What are you catching on? - asked the bravest one.
- For a banana! - I answered and demonstrated a plastic bag with exotic fruit cut into thin strips.
- No, stop joking, tell the truth. For corn? Or maybe on top?
- Guys, I'm talking about banana. How I guessed that the fish loves bananas ... I was fishing in the summer, sitting in a boat, eating a banana - I love them very much, and threw the skin into the water. The fry immediately pounced on the skin, and let's eat it. I thought, if a small fish eats a banana, then the big one will not refuse. I cut off a piece and threw it away. Five minutes later I was already pulling four kilograms of carp. I then caught 26 kilograms of fish in a day.

Yes, he’s lying, ”some quick-witted bearded man was indignant. He doesn't want to say what he was catching on.

The fishermen dispersed, and on the same day I visited two more city lakes and made a similar performance there. The next day I decided to take a walk around the city lakes and see what the fishing rods and float knights are now fishing for. The first fisherman disappointed me. He gave preference to traditional bait and fished with decoys. But, approaching the second fisherman, I could hardly hide a smile. Near his backpack was a can of worms and a plastic bag with sliced ​​banana slices.

Good morning, - in a whisper, so as not to frighten the fish, I greeted, - biting?
- No bite. I caught one goby.
- What are you catching on?
- At the worm.
- What is this for? - I pointed to the sliced ​​banana.

The man pretended not to hear the question.

I heard somewhere that carp bite well on a banana, - I pushed my new colleague to a conversation.
- You heard too? - he was delighted. - And my godfather told me that on this lake yesterday a carp, four kilograms in weight, was caught on a banana. I think it's a fable, but what the hell is not kidding, bought a banana, abandoned it. I'm sitting, I'm afraid to confess. I thought you would die laughing when you hear about bananas.
“I read about bananas in some magazine,” I said. I also thought it was a lie, but here you are. Maybe try yourself tomorrow?

There were three more lovers on this lake fishing... They also heard the story about the carp caught yesterday. True, the weight of carp from two kilograms in their stories grew first to five, and then to seven kilograms. No one doubted that such carps were found in this reservoir, but they had some doubts about fishing for a banana. All fishermen unanimously declared that an unknown "stray" fisherman caught a carp with some mysterious bait, and they did not say about a banana so that they would not give out a recipe for a real bait.

On another lake, the interlocutors were more interesting. Here, out of four people, three were catching a banana. I even managed to meet the same lucky guy who caught a carp with a banana yesterday. Talking to the "thief" who stole my laurels, I never ceased to be amazed. I saw the liars, but this one messed them all up.

Catching carp with a banana is an old grandfather's way, - he told me, - this way in our family is passed from father to son. My father used to catch a banana, my grandfather caught it, and now I catch it.
- Did your grandfather catch? I asked. - And did anyone know about bananas in those days?
- How could you not know? - the fisherman was surprised. - My grandfather was not some kind of redneck. He worked as an engineer. We always had a full house of those bananas.
- And your father, where did he get the bananas? - I did not lag behind. - In Soviet times, they were sold only in Moscow and Leningrad.
- Well, then what? - my interlocutor did not give up. - My father was a military pilot. Every weekend he flew a fighter to Moscow, and he took me into the cockpit with him. I tried my first banana when I was three years old. But bananas are not the best bait. It is good for mangoes, and even better for chihuahuas.

Chihuahua ?! - I exclaimed in surprise. - Why throw it all over?
- Why kiss, peel and throw away the skin.
- Tear off the skin of a live dog?

I imagined this executioner ripping the skin off a poor Chihuahua dog, and I shuddered.

What kind of dog? I tell you, dunce, about a Chihuahua - an African fruit I'm talking about. Delicious fruit. His father brought me from a business trip.
- So your family is probably from Korea?

The fisherman did not understand the hint, but felt that he was not taken seriously, flared up and chased me away. I have not denied. Today I have had enough fishing fables, but next week I will come to this lake again. Perhaps I will see how dogs will poison carp here.

if it is pumped over, the valves will release the air or not? new boats have such valvesAlexandra Chervyakova

To be honest, I don't know at all. For me personally, this is how it is and so far everything is fine, nothing swells up: http: //1lodka.ru/catalog/lodki-pod-motor-do-5-ls/. I'll just tell you this, you need to ask people who really understand this.Emelya Priveselov 5

Only 1.

Oleg can sail on a boat?

Guest 1

Hola?
Oleg knows how to sail on a boat. When Oleg was resting in a summer camp ?, he and his friends were swimming in an inflatable boat.
?❤️)_______________(?_____________⭐️ Oleg Gass fan 47

Only 1.

How many seasons will a rubber boat last for 25,000 rubles?

but1901 2

Now rubber boats are far behind, because rubber deteriorates very quickly and is heavy in weight. In modern inflatable boats, right now, they use PVC material (polyvinyl chloride). Therefore, your material is probably made of it, and PVC material is very durable. The manufacturers of such boats guarantee a very long period, more than 10 years.

I will say for myself that this spring I took an inflatable boat (about 13,000 rubles) for spring rafting "Taimen N 270 RS". Very good reliable double boat:

Dmigenn 5

Only 3.

Fisherman Vasily has a new two-seater rubber boat. When Vasily Sits in this boat alone, it plunges into the water

By a third of its volume. When his friend sits in the boat instead of Vasily, it sinks to 3/8 of its volume. What is the mass of the boat? How much of the boat's volume will be submerged when the fishermen board the boat together? Vasily's mass is 75 kg, the mass of his friend is 90 kg. Guest 4

Conclusion. If Vasily kicks, the boat will sink.

Guest 6

Total 1

If suddenly after fishing
You returned early in the morning,
You haven't caught anything-
Because it didn't bite,
And your wife asked you
Fry fish for breakfast,
Do not be confused by this-
You go straight to the bedroom,
And took out his bit
Throw it deeper.
Maybe she will have a bite
Your sluggish bait
And in a fit of passion he will say:
Zhora is hot, and there will be fish!

A worm sits on a hook
Frightening fish, makes faces.
From that - half a day fisherman
Can't catch anything.

Did you catch trout that summer?
- Yes. And this has to do with it?
- That trout called now,
Says you became a father.

Vasily got ready to go fishing in the morning,
I didn't wake my wife (five in the morning - it was a pity),
Quietly took fishing rods, a can of worms
And he tiptoed out of the door.

I got to the tram - suddenly a shower like a wall,
Well, then it’s fate to come home.
“Since this is the case, - decided the fisherman, -
I'd rather come back to my wife under the barrel. "

He returned and, quite happy with life,
I lay down, hugging my own back.
“Well, how is it? - asked the wife half asleep.
“Sucks,” Vasily replied reasonably.

The owner is nice in this weather
The dog will not be kicked out of the house for a long time. "
“Look,” his wife whispered with a laugh, “
And my fool - went fishing .. "

Natasha washed her bra
And the catfish caught him,
Two squinting and pike perch,
Asp and perch.
For this size ... successful
Everyone calls her a fisherwoman.

A fisherman is afraid to go fishing.
- Why are you shy,
Tell me weirdo
Doesn't fit the river
Coward Fedot
Since I heard
That the fish bite.

... THE BIGGEST BREAD
THE FISHERMAN'S WIFE CAPTURED SEEDS,
WHEN I FORGOT TO WAKE HIM TO FISHING.

They gave me a vacation in July,
And I asked in - January,
Because you will cut through the hell
A hole in the summer, in the heat!

Feet in felt boots are sweating
The box floats on the water
To hell with this epic!
Give a vacation in the New Year!

Fishermen were fishing
Caught cancer
All day long they searched
Where is the cancer ... how ...?

Satisfied with fishing is a fisherman.
Nice catch on the hook:
Tin can, holey shoe
A punctured ball and an old jacket.
Yes, yes, he remained without fish soup so far,
But the river will say "thank you" to him.

The pond has calmed down - at least paint a picture,
Reeds rustled playfully in the silence,
And where the water shone like mica,
The float froze - neither here nor there ...

To the right a bit, where the bushes met,
The old man bit, exclaiming: "Wow!"
And the water was lazily pumping an echo,
And the grandfather kept shouting: "Wow!"

I planted bread, I hooked a worm,
In fishing he wanted to surpass the old man.
However, the float stood and stood,
Nobody dragged the float into the depths.

I couldn't calm my nerves in any way,
I kicked the frog carelessly,
Imagining, like a grandfather, shaking his beard,
He pulls the crucian carp out of the water again!

“Well, rejoice in the cool, lucky old man! -
I grumbled, putting the cage in my backpack,
And the crucians announced a boycott to me!
Such fishing and the cat will not understand ... "

I walked proudly past the bush,
As if my burden is not empty ...
And so, by chance, the fisherman asked:
“Is it catching? Are the crucian carp pecking? "

“Doesn't bite at all - the old man smiled,
But what a picturesque pond, look!
Well, how not to scream from such beauty ?!
I love to go fishing at dawn. And you?"

A fisherman caught a mermaid while fishing,
But he took it and let it go.
Everything about her seemed so
A friend, stunned, asked:
- But why? She is slim
Beautiful, here's an eccentric.
The fisherman sighed, took a sip of wine,
Replied:
- Yes, but how?

To go out to the river,
Take a fishing rod in hand,
Drink a glass
To light a pipe.

And peering into the glow,
Listening to the silence
Skip the bottle
And the second would go.

Drink the third
For the beauty of the earth.
For the fourth - the fifth,
The sixth is also possible.

And then they would be drunk
We would fall into the water ...
We love Seryoga,
Fishing and nature.

Why are all fish silent? -
The drunk man asked about five times.
- Put your head in the water -
Can you say something?

A hundred year old man and a beardless guy
We went fishing on the lake together.
The young one is empty, but the old one
He drags a gudgeon after a gudgeon.

And the young man asked him: “Tell me,
You've been spoiled, but I'm not rushing.
How do you decide on the bait
Or are you so lucky in life? "

“Son, don't talk to me about luck.
As soon as I wake up, I look at ... my organ.
Lies to the left - for a worm fisherman,
To the right - I take bloodworms with me. "

And the young man replied: “Unfortunately,
I'm afraid your advice won't help.
Mine has a different ... direction,
It’s worth it, the infection, when I wake up a little light ”.

And the old one laughed as if
The boy's answer amused him:
“Well, if I had it like that in the morning,
I wouldn't go fishing. ”

The little boy went fishing
I caught a mermaid in a gutter ...
Abandoned school, finished with the future
The boy is fucked up by a scaly monster.

The chill of a quiet morning river ...
I warm up, rubbing my fists.
Fish, wake up and catch! ..
Nerves strained from excitement.

Again I catch an empty hook
A red worm squeezes in his fingers.
Squelch! .. and a vertical float
A light breeze sways again.

Oops! .. bite ... I strained my eyes,
Distracted by the dragonfly fool.
Heart stops by chance ...
Eat! .. swallows! .. hook quickly!

First .. thanks for the initiative.
How many more of you are in the darkness of the depths
Hidden from the distant eyes of people -
A raft, crucian carp, bream?

All day alone I can do this
Feel free to sit on the shore.
At home I will fall without hind legs,
Joyful, contented, God sees.

With thoughts of rivers and ponds
I will fall asleep with a smile on my lips.
My dreams are calm and light
The floats are dancing before our eyes.

You will not find a place in our refrigerator
Matyl and maggot, yes boilies from dough
The wife cleared out the soup rack
In the hospital for a week: joking with dad is stupid.

Husband the day before, carefully, beautifully
I put my things for fishing in the car:
A deck of cards, wine and oranges ...
Just, you bastard, I forgot my fishing rods!

Exactly all rods are put in the box
To Rybinka in the sea! There is a real bite!
Great at catching on the last ice
The six goes with bubbles to the bottom.

Well, the long-awaited summer has come!
I got tired of work and got tired of everything!
Tours stare from advertising brochures -
Canary Islands, Bahamas, Maldives, Seychelles ...

Pools and beaches, hotels - cocktails ...
To hell with it! It's not that I'm sorry for the money ...
Today I decided to give up for a week
Further - into the Ural wilderness, fishing!

And there, without a mobile phone and without a laptop,
On a wild lake, forgotten by people,
I will catch a huge pike on spinning!
Don't believe me? Not! Fishing places I will not give it up!

Bonfire, a pot of spring water,
Carrots, dill, fresh fish aroma ...
I'll bungle an ear like that for dinner!
Here is a fairy tale! And you say - Maldives ...

You are a sailor, I am a sailor.
You are a fisherman, I am a fisherman.
You're on land, I'm on the sea
How did you get pregnant?

Dad got together with a friend on the ice,
Bad people got on the train.
And the vodka is bad, in the hands of ice axes,
Two proud figures are splattered with blood.

Until you wait for a bite in the morning
There will be an ache in the back of the head.
A fisherman is accustomed without a catch,
But not used to it - without a bottle.

"Tell me for the sake of curiosity -
I'm not interested in nothing! -
How you congratulated your husband
Since February 23rd? " -
“I bought a set of spinners
And she handed it in early in the morning! " -
“How did he accept your gift?
You said: he is a fisherman
And that every weekend
He is in no hurry to go home from fishing!
Probably your gift
He was pleased with this? " -
"Yes! For a long time he twisted spoons,
Then: "What is this?" - asked! "

Fishing without a bottle
As without a broom in the steam room.
I drank a whole liter of tea
I made a hole and I miss you.

"Santa Claus" came to us,
With a backpack, without a tree!
He is already cold through and through,
There are needles in the beard!

A hat in fish scales,
And a fingal under the eye!
Drunk, tipsy,
Still laughing, infection!

Mom right behind the rolling pin
Don't go fishing figs!

Grandfather came from fishing yesterday
There are only mermaids in my head
He did not catch fish ...
The woman is shocked. How can she be?

We went fishing
The fish were caught in the pond.
Vitya fished out a washcloth,
And Maxim - a frying pan.

You're lying, Tan! What's the nightclub there?
My husband was on a fishing trip ... pinned me a pike.
Weight: three hundred forty five! Count it up - a hero!
I just forgot to rip off the price tag from the tail, bitch!

By a third of its volume. When his friend sits in the boat instead of Vasily, it sinks to 3/8 of its volume. What is the mass of the boat? How much of the boat's volume will be submerged when the fishermen board the boat together? Vasily's mass is 75 kg, the mass of his friend is 90 kg. Guest

Conclusion. If Vasily kicks, the boat will sink.

Guest 4

Only 1.

How does the anchor hold the ship in one place, because its mass is negligible in comparison with the mass of the ship?

Sergey Kuksinsky 13 Source: lodochka.ua

How does the anchor hold the ship in one place?

——————————————————–

Due to the so-called. the holding force of the anchor and the elasticity of the anchor rope (chain). This is a whole science taught in maritime schools. There are a great variety of anchors and it is important to choose the optimal anchor for a particular craft. Anchors are held not only by ships, but also by various marine structures: platforms, floating beacons, buoys, floating berths, landing stages, pontoons, breakwaters, etc.

I am engaged in the construction of yacht harbors (marinas) and for me relatively recently the Mitchell screw anchor became a discovery (there was such a wonderful British engineer Alexander Mitchell, he invented this anchor in the 19th century, by the way).

The screw anchor is screwed into the bottom and has a holding force 10-15 times more than conventional anchors. With a very low weight, size and price. For me, this is a personal anchor revolution 🙂

Andrey Mantula 373

Only 7.

Why did the early explorers of North America use canoes?

Guest 2

Many will likely be surprised to learn that birch trees grow in the Connecticut River Valley and the first Indian canoes were made from birch bark. Indians did canoes did different sizes- a small hunting canoe was two meters high for two people, a boat for sailing in the open sea was 6 meters long and even more, there are facts where the canoe transported up to a hundred people.

The main advantage of the canoe's design was that it was light enough to be carried by one person.

Valeria Elagina 3

The canoe is also believed to have played a role in the discovery of the Amazon. In 1541, the Spaniards, under the leadership of Pizarro, moved along the Napo River (a tributary of the upper Amazon), but the detachment did not have a sufficient number of ships, and it was impossible to move further along the coast because of the impenetrable forest and swamps. Then it was decided to build a small ship and several canoes, which were built by the Indians who accompanied the detachment. Then, in December 1541, Francisco de Orellana, with soldiers and Indians, went to explore the area, the result of which was the discovery of the Amazon. SLAVA H. 2

Only 2.

There are two people and a boat

How to make it so that to swim across the shore if the boat can only support one? (although it takes two) Nikita Dibrov 3.

Fishing season opening for many fishermen, the start was not very good. Imagine: you bought a rubber boat for 9999 rubles a year ago for a special offer, went fishing, and on the way back, a traffic police officer stops you and demands to show documents for water transport.

Of course, you have not kept the check. And why is it, in fact, needed for an inflatable boat, where even a motor cannot be attached. This is practically a children's pool, you might think. But no. Already several Astrakhan residents who opened the fishing season were stopped for having a boat on the trunk.

With a similar one, for example, a week ago a resident of the Trusovsky district, Mikhail Berbinets, collided. The man and his friends went on a fishing trip, and on the way back his car was stopped by the traffic police officers near the station, asking for documents for water transport. Since, for obvious reasons, they were not available (the boat was bought already in 2010), the men, along with their ships, were “invited” to the Sovetskiy ROVD.

For all fishing practice this did not happen to men. The fishermen tried everything: they told in detail how the boat appeared at their home, where they bought it, what time of year ... But the inflatable transport was confiscated from the citizens of Trusov, and even a protocol was drawn up. However later common sense took over. The boats were handed over and a second protocol was immediately written, which stated that the item was returned after ten days from the moment of seizure. In general, "Watermelon" decided to look into this issue, because soon - the season of roach, and suddenly every owner of mini-boats now needs to glue a check on the windshield.

In the press service of the regional Department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs we were confirmed that the checks are indeed ongoing. But this, as it turned out, is not out of harm and envy of lucky fishermen. The real reason is the increased incidence of thefts. When such a ship disappears from the next victim, he writes a statement to the police, where he says that a two-seater green boat has disappeared, and as special signs he indicates only dried grass on the sides. According to such orientations, the police have to look for the loss, and, therefore, stop all people who have a green boat tied to their car.

Independent lawyers are also of the opinion that that the owners of small boats, not exceeding 20 meters and not holding 12 people, should not carry with them a laminated sales receipt and its photocopy.

"According to the legislation Russian Federation, Federal Law No. 36 of the Russian Federation, Order of the Ministry of Emergency Situations of the Russian Federation of June 29, 2005 No. 500, the Code of Inland Water Transport, etc., a small vessel is a vessel whose length should not exceed 20 meters and the total number of people on which should not exceed twelve. These include, among other things inflatable boat and catamarans. Inflatable rubber boat, the length of which does not exceed 20 meters, does not apply to small craft subject to registration. And in this case, a certificate for the right to drive a small boat is not required. In the event of the arrest of a person who is on this type of transport on the water, or transporting him on land, the actions of the inspector can generally be qualified as robbery. The detention of a small court that is not subject to registration should be in exceptional cases - poaching, hooliganism, alcohol intoxication, and the like ", - Anastasia Mantserova, lawyer.