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"The more an enlightened mind indulges in the thought of enjoying life and happiness, the further a person is from true satisfaction."
(I. Kant)

"Everything is governed by reason, but everything lives on by passion."
(A.S. Khomyakov)

The sinner is like a dog who licks the saw and does not notice the harm that is being done to himself, because he becomes drunk with the taste of his own blood.
(Rev. Isaac the Syrian).

“Yes, a fight with yourself - There is the most difficult fight... Victory from victories - Victory over oneself. "
(F. Logau)

"The beginning of conversion to Christ consists in the knowledge of his sinfulness, his fall; from such a look at himself, a person recognizes the need for a Redeemer and approaches Christ through humility, faith and repentance. Unaware of his sinfulness, his fall, his destruction, he cannot accept Christ, he cannot believe in Christ, he cannot be a Christian. Why is Christ for the one who is both rational and virtuous, who is satisfied with himself, who recognizes himself worthy of all earthly and heavenly rewards? "
(Saint Ignatius)

"Not the healthy need a doctor, but the sick"(Matthew 9.12)

"The first sign of the health of the soul is the vision of one's sins, countless, like the sand of the sea."
(St. Peter Damascene)

"Try to live as God commands, and not as" everyone lives ", because" the world lies in evil. "
St. Joseph

"To be upset with external difficulties is a sign of lack of faith; too upset with internal difficulties is a sign of pride."
Abbot Nikon (Vorobyov)

The following statements are used in the text:

Saint Ignatius (Brianchaninov).
Abbot Nikon (Vorobyov)
A.I. Osipova.

We are now living in a difficult time. Material life has developed, spiritual life disappears, bodily pleasures and cares are devoured all the time. The boundaries between good and evil disappear. Simplicity, kindness and love are leaving our lives.
We already calmly accept abortion, fornication, cohabitation.

The family, which belongs to the most important social values, is now being destroyed. A marriage established by God turns into a union of two egoists by calculation (contract), where each half pursues its own goals and desires. And where there is no love, there is no truth, no truth, no happiness, and only disguised egoism will prevail there!

We have forgotten such a simple but important truth that The spirit creates forms for itself.
“Everything that we see, that is happening in the life around us, is already fruit. And the roots are in the depths of a person's soul, and they determine our whole life - both political and social, and all our problems that we face. ''

The spiritual state of mankind can be clearly seen in the example of contemporary art (since it is a mirror of the human soul).

Look at what paintings, sculptures, books, children's cartoons, dances are now, listen to music. Just awful (with rare exceptions). And the worst thing is that many people like it. Talking about a lot. Masterpieces for centuries have not been created for a long time.

What does our world stand on?

On three rotten pillars: voluptuousness(lust, pleasure seeking), love of money(thirst for wealth) and popularity(thirst for fame and power).

“For all that is in the world — the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life — is not of the Father, but of this world”(1 John 2:16, 17).

We must not forget what the history of mankind testifies to us. With the fall of morals, whole empires disappeared.

In our time, temptations and vices have multiplied to infinity! If earlier such a moral, spiritual degradation concerned only a separate nation, and it was simply swept off the face of the earth, now, thanks to the development of technical progress, the whole of humanity is affected. Apparently, in the near future, humanity will face terrible shocks.

Let me remind you of the words from the Gospel about the decline of mankind:

For people will be proud, avaricious, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, ungodly, unfriendly, irreconcilable, slanderers, incontinent, cruel, not loving good, traitors, arrogant, pompous, more voluptuous than but his forces denied him (2 Tim. 2: 2-5). For when they say: "peace and security," then destruction will suddenly overtake them, just as the torment of childbirth befell her in her womb, and they will not escape (1 Thessalon 5: 3). The day of the Lord will come, like a thief at night, and then the heavens will pass away with a noise, the elements, having flared up, will be destroyed, the earth and all the works on it will burn up (2 Peter 2:10).

What should a person who sees and understands do?
How to live today?

The apostasy was permitted by God; don't try to stop him with your feeble hand.

Get away, protect yourself from him, and that's enough for you.

Challenge yourself to obey the commandments of the gospel by trying to turn them into your skill. This is the surest and most reliable guarantee of our salvation.

Get to know the spirit of the times, study it in order to avoid its influence as much as possible.

It is necessary to decisively cut off communication and friendship with people who corrupt our soul.
The Gospel teaches us about this, and we must follow it if we wish ourselves well.

Do not condemn your neighbors, leaving judgment over them to God, and then your heart will be cleansed of hypocrisy and peace will reign in it.
Pursue the hypocrisy in yourself, driving it out of you; evade the multitude of people infected with it, acting both intentionally and unconsciously in the spirit of him.

Be careful not to be overcomfortable. He brings the soul and body into a stout state.
Love work, and God will soon send you peace.
Physical labor brings purity to the heart; purity of heart causes the soul to bear fruit.
God imposed labor on man, not for punishment and torment, but for disciplining and teaching him.

Do not expect or seek praise and approval from human society!
Save yourself not for show, but secretly, only before the eyes of God.
Don't look for fame and glory!
Do not seek or expect love from people! Seek with all your might and demand from yourself love and condolences to people.
Do not expect and do not look for a painless, voluminous, completely comfortable life!
This is not your lot.

A great acquisition is to be happy with everything.
For we have brought nothing into the world; it is clear that we cannot take anything out of it. Having food and clothing, we will be pleased with that. Do not forget that happy is the one who pleases everything that is in him, with him and around him.
And those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and into many reckless and harmful lusts that plunge people into misery and destruction.

Just as our body needs caution from wind, cold, various food and drinks, so our soul needs a variety of storage. Probably everyone noticed the inner emptiness, stoutness after an empty pastime.

Start leading a mindful life. To avoid as much as possible from what our world is carrying now - heresies, violence, debauchery, all sorts of empty and vain deeds, care. Value your time. Be attentive to what you read, listen to and watch (magazines, books, radio, television, internet, etc.).

Remember, if you touch the dirt, it is difficult not to get dirty. Reach for all that is good.
Especially beware and avoid books, people - carrying the poison of lies.

Heresy is associated with hardening of the heart, with a terrible darkening and damage to the mind - it persists in the soul infected by it - it is difficult for a person to heal from this ailment!

The mind, this king in man, if he wishes to enter into the rights of his autocracy and preserve them, must first of all submit to the law of fasting. Only then will he be constantly cheerful and bright; only then can he dominate the desires of the heart and body; only with constant sobriety can he study the commandments of the gospel and follow them. The foundation of virtues is fasting.

Fasting gives a person clarity of mind, not an obese body. Through it we learn to curb it. And the passions gradually begin to subside. Russian proverb says "A full belly is deaf to God"
Sitting down at the table, do not overeat. Try to eat simple and healthy foods. Make it a rule Wednesday and Friday, fast days. Try to keep the fasts established by the Church. You just need to remember: fasting is for a person, not a person for fasting. Be judicious. Measure your strengths. Try not to cause inconvenience by fasting your loved ones, relatives who do not fast.

Read New Testament and the Holy Fathers. There you will find answers to your questions.

Here, too, there should be prudence and moderation. It is necessary to know the basics of the Christian faith, but I do not advise you to go into dogma and theology. This is the lot of some people. Theology developed for the endowment of various heresies and for dialogue with the Gentiles. There is little that is useful for the soul. We don't need to know all the subtleties. Otherwise, "woe from the mind" may happen. The letter can kill faith. And lead a person to "conceit."

I recommend starting to get acquainted with Christianity by listening to the lectures of the professor of the Theological Academy A.I. Osipova.... They are understandable and interesting. You can download them. Now streams of mud are pouring on Alexei Ilyich from all sides, there is nothing surprising here. This has always been the case, because our world does not like such people.

From books: letters - Saints- Ignatiy Bryanchaninov; Filaret Drozdov; Innokenty Kherson; Theophan the recluse; letters- the Elder of Valaam; Nikon (Vorobyova); Ignatiy Bryanchaninov; Spirit, soul and body - Archbishop Luke; Philanthropy chosen for the laity; Psychic Teachings - Abba Dorotheos; records of the Priest Alexander Elchaninov; My Life in Christ - John of Kronstadt; Instructions on good morality and a holy life - Anthony the Great.

It is better to read books. You can buy them in the church shop of your Temple or order in online stores. Those who cannot read can download audio books at http://www.predanie.ru/audio/.
What is not clear, skip, read later. Everything has its time.

Remember death - and you will never sin.

How can evil deeds benefit you? Don't live like an immortal. Death of the sinner lute (ps 33,22).
“The lot of all people on earth, the inevitable lot for no one is death. We fear her, as the most cruel enemy, we bitterly mourn those who are abducted by her, and we spend our life as if there were no death at all, as if we were eternal on earth.
My coffin! why am I forgetting you? You are waiting for me, you are waiting - and I will probably be your inhabitant: why do I forget you, and behave as if the coffin was the lot of only other people, not mine? " (St. Ignatius Brianchaninov).

Be attentive to your thoughts and thoughts. As soon as thoughts are not good, do not enter into conversations with them, suppress that hour sympathy for them. This is a pretext for sin. Until they got stronger and weak.

"The soul of all exercises in the Lord is attention. Without attention, all these exercises are fruitless, dead. Those who want to be saved must arrange themselves in such a way that he can maintain attention to himself not only in solitude, but also with the very absent-mindedness, into which sometimes he is drawn against his will. circumstances.

If you happen to say or do something contrary to the commandments of God, then immediately heal the error by repentance, and, through sincere repentance, return to the path of God, from which you deviated by violating the will of God.

He who hears himself must abandon all daydreaming in general, no matter how tempting and specious it may seem: all daydreaming is a wandering of the mind, outside the truth, in the land of ghosts that do not exist and cannot be realized, flatter the mind and deceive it. The consequences of daydreaming: loss of attention to oneself, absent-mindedness of the mind and cruelty of the heart when praying; hence the mental disorder.

In the evening, going to sleep, which in relation to the life of that day is death, consider your actions during the past day. For one who leads an attentive life, such a contemplation is not difficult, because the forgetfulness that is so characteristic of an entertained person is destroyed due to attention to oneself. So, having remembered all your sins by deed, word, thought, feeling, bring repentance to God with disposition and a heartfelt pledge of correction. "(St. Ignatius Brianchaninov)

"To whom the Church is not a Mother, to whom God is not a Father."

Without any doubt, the most excellent in dignity of all the buildings on earth is the temple, or the house of God, the church. Although God is present everywhere, His presence in the church manifests itself in a special way, the most perceptible and most useful for man "(St. Ignatius Brianchaninov).
During the service, do not be distracted, do not dream, do not consider, do not think about vanity. Push yourself to Prayer. Otherwise, it will not be of any use to you.

It is imperative to be well prepared, to confess and receive Communion as often as possible.
The sacrament of confession cleanses all sins committed by word, deed, thought. Drive away embarrassment in confession. You came to confess to the Lord, and the priest is only a witness. Which is heavier? A stone (grave sin) or a bag of sand (minor transgressions). Don't carry everything in your heart.

The communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ is a blessed source of preservation and strengthening of our spiritual life.
Communion is a gift that connects us to God. But this is possible only with a permanently pious life or after resolute repentance for a sinful life and resolute abandonment of it.

A person trying to start living like a Christian realizes very soon that he himself cannot cope with his passions. Correction, salvation of a person, without the help of God is impossible. The path to God is prayer.

“Prayer is the appeal of a fallen and repentant person to God. Prayer is the cry of a fallen and repentant person before God. Prayer is the outpouring of heartfelt desires, petitions, sighs of a fallen man killed by sin before God.

The soul of prayer is attention. As the body without the soul is dead, so the prayer without attention is dead. Without attention, a prayer that is uttered turns into idle talk, and the praying person is thus numbered among those who take the name of God in vain.

Say the words of the prayer slowly; do not let the mind wander about, but shut it up in the words of prayer. This path is cramped and deplorable for the mind accustomed to wandering freely in the universe; but this path leads to attention. Whoever tastes the great blessing of attention will love to oppress the mind on the path leading to blissful attention.

Allow yourself to be distracted by thoughts during prayer, hate dreaminess, reject cares by the power of faith, strike your heart with the fear of God, and you will conveniently learn to pay attention.

The mind, during prayer, must have and with all care preserve formless, rejecting all the images that are drawn in the abilities of the imagination: because the mind in prayer stands before the invisible God, Who cannot be represented in any material way. If images are allowed into the mind of prayer, then they become an impenetrable curtain, a wall between the mind and God. “Those who see nothing in their prayers, see God,” said the Monk Meletius the Confessor ”(St. Ignatius Brianchaninov)

Make it a rule to start and end your day with prayer. Learning to keep your mind in prayer is not easy. When a person is on fire or drowning, he, calling for help, thinks only of his own salvation. So we do not need to ask the Lord for anything vain and perishable. The Lord knows before us our needs and what is good for us and what is not. Having learned to pray correctly, pray constantly - and you will inherit salvation.

Here are two main prayers:

Jesus Prayer.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner (oh)."

The Lord's Prayer.

Our Father who art in heaven! hallowed be thy name;
Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done, as in heaven, on earth;
Give us our daily bread for this day;
and forgive us our debts, just as we forgive our debtors;
and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.

"Yes, the fight with oneself is the most difficult fight.
Victory from victories - victory over oneself. "F. Logau.

Do not believe when they said "everything is lost"
Go ahead without looking at anything.
Let them tumble wearily:
They probably haven't got it yet,

That everything does not happen like this at once,
What a dream to sweat.
Do not pick up the infection of apathy -
She can get sick very quickly.

Strive to meet all your ideals.
Fell - get up and continue on your way.
Don't discuss your secrets with just anyone
You just be individual.

Learn to make your own decisions
Don't rely on a crowd of people.
Believe me, it's not a matter of luck at all.
One who is alone is not necessarily a villain.

Learn to fight is very important
After all, nothing will just happen.
Fight your adversity with all your courage.
Problem solving is also a skill.

But to master it, you need will,
Patience, perseverance, a lot of strength.
And only at the end of the war, on the battlefield
You yourself will understand that you have won.

Anastasia Shpak.

Victory over yourself

It's not easy to be a good person
If the character is rather obstinate -
Keeping yourself in check is such a pain
Make sure that the positive does not dry out.
That is far from an Angel - you know
And you flash like gunpowder ...
Putting all the flaws in a heap -
That heap will not be small.
Do not get used to a tightrope
You declare battle to your overtures ...
After all, the most worthy victory is
This is a victory over oneself.

Margarita Davydova. 2012.

Victory over yourself

Our heroic cheerleaders are vying with each other,
That there is no victory is better than victory over oneself.

But who is the loser in this "self-with-self" struggle?
Victory over oneself is a defeat ... for oneself!

Forgotten in this incident those cheerful people about
That a person participates in the struggle between good and evil.

In his soul and outside it, and in private, and in full
A very old sacred war is being waged.

Good is the creation of the Lord, evil is the abomination of Satan ...
These simple truths are not clear to everyone ...

I am weak without God ... I am strong when I am with Christ!
Only with Him will I overcome the evil in myself ...

And don't tell me about the power of will -
- The victory over oneself is doubtful without the Lord!

How outwardly the result in my affairs would not look -
- May Christ triumph in me, and not a crafty enemy ...

Vadim Negaturov.

Victory over yourself

Victory over oneself, even small,
It brings both joy and confidence.
The enemy throws up evil thoughts,
But the attack will not find their target.

When prayer, Word, meditation
They live in you like an exhalation or an inhalation,
Every decision will be wise
This means that the result is not too bad.

When everything that happens in life,
For everything that happens around
Look through the eyes of God, it comes out
A causal vicious circle.

In pursuit of the earthly, material
They take risks, cunning and deceit,
They wash things with washing powder,
But they hide their dirty soul in their pocket ...

Let the wicked enemy send arrows,
If with God - they will not find the goal!
And there will be angels on the left, and on the right -
All tests will pass with you!

Bogdanova Natalia.

Victory over yourself

You give more warming words
Do not be afraid to do good
The more firewood you put on the fire,
The more heat will return.
When the snow is blazing
In a chest frozen from the heat,
It means that you are insensitive with kindness,
In my soul I won.

Stryuk Maria.

Not the hero who entered the battlefield a thousand times, but the one who managed to defeat himself.

An ancient Japanese saying.

Victory over yourself is the greatest victory, and when you succeed, you involuntarily begin to respect yourself, this makes you a commander over your own destiny ...

Wandering in search of new material, fresh and interesting in its content, depth of thought, penetration of the soul, - quite by accident I discovered rare poems. I love poetry, I love Tsvetaeva, Akhmatova, Pushkin, and most of the Russian classics. I love for spirituality first of all. I love poetry, and I read them slowly and soulfully - in the "voice" of V. Gaft.

But the author of these poems pleasantly surprised me, first of all, I am reading the poetry of a priest for the first time. I was completely imbued with it. They have some kind of wisdom of their own, vital and genuine, prayerful and immaculate ... And then I thought: "How is a prayer in front of an icon in a church different from a prayer in front of an ordinary icon bought in an ordinary church shop?" - right, nothing ... I think the thought to continue does not make sense, just read these short poems ...

The hardest part is overcoming
Internal waves and pitfalls
To rule first over laziness,
And then over the flurry of passions.

Internal waves constant source
Pride, despondency, self-pity, -
The list is complete, detailed and accurate
You will immediately find if, loving the truth,

You will imperiously cast your inner gaze
The vile essence of your being
And, like fire, you will burn yourself with shame
For groveling in front of your own "I"

The hardest part is overcoming
Life storms, temptations, fasting
With inner joy, with strong patience,
This will be the bearing of the Cross.

Tsarskoe

I cross carefully
Every burst of my mind.
Everything. it would seem wonderful
But in the mind - for sins - winter.

The mind soars not like an eagle - like a crow,
And he can't understand in any way
What a crown of thorns - a crown
You can accept the Kingdom forever.

That only the way of the cross - Calvary
You can enter the Kingdom forever,
And that only a disaster
Can the Tsar come down to us forever.

You, who gave birth to a Son,
The captivity of passions delivered us,
So that having felt and deflected,
And getting rid of the enemy's nets,

We saw the True Light
And under the rule of Your sovereign
Amid the terrible troubles that are coming on us
They served their Russia.

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Yes, the fight with yourself is the most difficult fight

Posts in this topic: 12

Abstinent

A psychologist friend of mine, a man over 50, once told me: "This instinct originated in a person even before he regained consciousness, so it is almost impossible to get rid of its influence.

Some nonsense. If you don't want to, then, of course, you can't get rid of it.

It is much easier to say that it is impossible to get rid of its influence and come to terms with the fact that you are developing problems in many areas of your life.

You never know what someone says. They say that chickens are milked.

NoFapFap

Maximum term without masturbation: 1.5 years

1. Marathons of purity

2. Leisure time

3. Control over thoughts

Regarding the first point, I found information based on ancient scriptures, according to which you should not make yourself indefinite vows. It's like swearing eternal love to your beloved and parting because of everyday life in a few years) An indefinite vow only contributes to an increase in tension. I associate this with a life sentence in which you either constantly suffer from the realization of eternal imprisonment, or you simply broke down and resigned yourself to your deprivation. In a limited time frame, these are constant, periodic victories over yourself, which only make you stronger and help you set more serious vows and goals in other areas of life.

Regarding the second point - constant employment is certainly a good distraction, but in fact it is just running away from yourself (running away to sleep, more on that later). There will come a moment of doing nothing and the thought of vice will return again. You need to learn to live without these thoughts even when you have nothing to occupy yourself with, when you are alone, when you can afford anything you want, then you can confidently say that you have overcome vice. And this is achieved by developing awareness. In a dream, the mind sleeps, only the brain is working, there is no awareness, and many break down in a dream. A breakdown in reality is also a state of sleep when you lose awareness. You need to learn to constantly be awake, aware, then you can control yourself in whatever situation you are. The same applies to the third point.

Dr. Shrink and Froggit like this

Small man

A few basic things that I came to in my experience (all points are my subjective point of view):

1. Marathons of purity

Any phases of abstinence with a fixed time (a month of cleanliness, three months of cleanliness, and so on) put a wrong mindset in the subconscious. It seems like time passes, the will is clenched into a fist, and somewhere in the depths of the brain there is a malicious countdown. When the first month passes successfully, then there is a belief in one's own power and ... a desire to reward oneself for a long wait. I'll reward it now, and then I'll go for three months. I observe something similar in smokers who "do not smoke, but only indulge." Say, if I have to, I will squeeze my will into a fist and for at least half a century I will not even admit a single thought. In general, I came to the conclusion that it is necessary to give up in the same way as to walk into the abyss: to give up thinking that this is forever, that there will be no return in principle. This mental attitude is very important for avoiding the pitfalls in the subconscious.

2. Leisure time

Periods of doing nothing create an extremely unfavorable environment for the emergence of wrong thoughts. When the life schedule is tight, it is more difficult for the brain to fall into a state of aimless swaying in search of some interesting activity. Work, hobbies, fulfillment of assigned life tasks, just meeting with friends occupy the brain - and this is an important component (especially for beginners). When it happened that I had several hours of leisure time, I created artificial tasks for myself: general cleaning of the apartment, a high-speed walk for a while. In general, the daily routine is an excellent assistant in the fight against a well-known ailment, and indeed a good thing in many aspects.

3. Control over thoughts

On initial stages abstinence can form a false sense of success. If I stopped looking for "wrong" pictures or videos on the Internet, stopped looking "wrong" at the fairer sex, then this is definitely a success. But it is necessary to nip the enemy in the bud, at the level of thoughts. Drive them away from yourself with a filthy broom so that there are no leaks into the subconscious. The fish rots from the head, and abstinence from thoughts.

Dr. Shrink, Froggit and lux in tenebris like this

Froggit

Maximum term without masturbation: 1.5 years

A few basic things that I came to in my experience (all points are my subjective point of view):

1. Marathons of purity

Any phases of abstinence with a fixed time (a month of cleanliness, three months of cleanliness, and so on) put a wrong mindset in the subconscious. It seems like time passes, the will is clenched into a fist, and somewhere in the depths of the brain there is a malicious countdown. When the first month passes successfully, then there is a belief in one's own power and ... a desire to reward oneself for a long wait. I'll reward it now, and then I'll go for three months. I observe something similar in smokers who "do not smoke, but only indulge." Say, if I have to, I will squeeze my will into a fist and for at least half a century I will not even admit a single thought. In general, I came to the conclusion that it is necessary to give up in the same way as to walk into the abyss: to give up thinking that this is forever, that there will be no return in principle. This mental attitude is very important for avoiding the pitfalls in the subconscious.

2. Leisure time

Periods of doing nothing create an extremely unfavorable environment for the emergence of wrong thoughts. When the life schedule is tight, it is more difficult for the brain to fall into a state of aimless swaying in search of some interesting activity. Work, hobbies, fulfillment of assigned life tasks, just meeting with friends occupy the brain - and this is an important component (especially for beginners). When it happened that I had several hours of leisure time, I created artificial tasks for myself: general cleaning of the apartment, a high-speed walk for a while. In general, the daily routine is an excellent assistant in the fight against a well-known ailment, and indeed a good thing in many aspects.

3. Control over thoughts

In the early stages of abstinence, a false sense of success can form. If I stopped looking for "wrong" pictures or videos on the Internet, stopped looking "wrong" at the fairer sex, then this is definitely a success. But it is necessary to nip the enemy in the bud, at the level of thoughts. Drive them away from yourself with a filthy broom so that there are no leaks into the subconscious. The fish rots from the head, and abstinence from thoughts.

You speak the truth, it's strange how, with all this, you are still not free, do not believe yourself?)

Or maybe you exaggerated the problem, although I do not like to consider anyone the winner of this vice, well, who knows what you can get into tomorrow, you cannot consider yourself to be victorious over fornication, or any other sin, it is simply impossible, because we have struggle with sins, this is our life.

The more we improve ourselves, the further we are from perfection, perfection is unattainable, it is God) But this does not mean that it is difficult to improve ourselves, on the contrary, it is joyful and easy, and what you consider yourself impossible to free yourself from, in the future it will seem impossible to you how could you do it.

The more we perfect our soul, the happier we become, we become closer to God.

I am not free because I have learned to achieve success at the initial level of abstinence, when the principle of avoiding any provocative factors becomes the basis. I know how to walk down the street in the summer with a defocused gaze and I know when I just need to abruptly unplug the computer and go do push-ups. Unfortunately, this won't get you very far. In my understanding, the level of liberation is when a very beautiful naked girl touches you with unambiguous hints, and your pulse does not rise one beat up, and your brain continues to remain in a state of all-encompassing cosmic purity. And the point is not to learn how to beat oneself with a ruler in the brain and constantly be in a fighting stance of control, but to make this state of purity the only possible, natural for oneself. And this requires work, versatile and constant. I am still very far from the goal, unfortunately.

Small man

Maximum length of time without masturbation: About a year

Perhaps I'll write about my main breakdown. It so happened that the beginning of abstinence coincided with the intake of a certain type of drugs that reduce libido. A month or two after the start of admission, there were signs of obvious apathy towards the opposite sex. For all its artificiality, it was a pleasant sensation, a sort of weary bulletproofness. A month later, the course stopped, but due to inertia, this state persisted for another two or three weeks. Then I decided that this is a great opportunity not to be missed. Mentally I said to myself that I had stepped out of the viciousness of the past and personally matured (looking ahead, I will say that this was an unsubstantiated statement that did not stand the test of time).

Then I invented three samurai for myself, who supposedly carry the patrol in my head and in which case they smartly cut into pieces the terrible monsters, which were flashing vicious thoughts and images. It seems to be some kind of stupidity, but I must admit that it worked well. Any look that accidentally slid down a short skirt or an unclean thought before going to bed was cut off by the samurai only in this way. I already sometimes strained the nodules, imagining the full power of their blows. About half a year passed, the success was consolidated. I developed excellent ignorance and avoidance skills that allowed me to remain calm even in parks filled with summer young ladies. In short, I had a good basic avoidance level.

More than a year had passed when I suddenly decided to go to gym... I had never walked before, but then I decided that it was time to take up myself (I personally matured!). And that was the beginning of the collapse. Power loads, if anyone does not know, they increase the level of testosterone in the body, and it, in turn, fuels the libido ... And it probably would be all right if I went to the gym alone, but there were enough slim ones beautiful girls... I even adjusted my schedule a couple of times so as not to meet especially spectacular specimens, but still I could not isolate myself from them. I even thought to quit the gym and study at home, but I had a sensible trainer, there was a good progress in weight for my physique. Wacky testosterone began to act on the brain, creating the image of a "strong male". Well, then day X came. It was evening workout, and somehow it so happened that only two people remained in the hall: me and some kind of beauty. At the same time, we were practicing in about the same section of the hall and for some reason I began to imagine that she was sending me some signals. Either he will hold his gaze for a few seconds, or he will pass too close, although the placement of the simulators did not require this. Excitement began to build up. She left the hall earlier, and I sighed with relief. I finished the split, left the hall and heard the sound of water ... It was a shower in the women's locker room, and I heard it so clearly because the door to it was half-open. And then my coordination in my brain was already disturbed by the rush of thoughts. I quickly changed and rushed home like a bullet. It was very scary, as there was a feeling that I was about to lose control and go to the women's locker room. When I found myself at home, blood pulsed in my temples, there was a visible tremor in my arms and legs. I went to the shower and ... lost it. How I hated myself then. He called himself in every possible way: a weakling, a sinner, a subhuman. The next morning I realized that I had a cold (still, I ran two kilometers on a cold evening all in sweat after the gym).

I never went to the gym again. My self-esteem fell below the plinth. But worst of all, I almost lost faith in the fact that I can not get lost in situations like this. Samurai still feel sorry for them - they gave their lives for the best me ...

You should never be discouraged, yes, you fell, but life did not end there. Your fall only makes you stronger, believe me, in no way weaker. Of course, if you have repented, then you have suffered, and if you have suffered, then you have become undoubtedly stronger, admit it. Our suffering, whatever it is, always makes us stronger.

You cannot be afraid of the world, you understand, if you set out to keep yourself clean, you should strive for this and there are naturally many temptations on this path, especially in our time, if you do not succumb to temptations, you will become stronger. Without a struggle, you will never be able to achieve your goal, because temptations are everywhere, let you go to the desert, as a hermit, and there are temptations, because a lot has been said by the saints about this.

Well, about testosterone and other things, it seems to me, you shouldn't think about it a lot, it's better to look for the cause of your falls in your soul, and not in your body.